It’s easy to fall into the comfort of doing the same thing over and over again—whether it’s how we approach our work, our relationships, and even how we think. Old habits sneak in because they feel familiar, even when they no longer serve us.

The key to change is awareness. Once you start noticing these patterns, you create space for something new. It doesn’t have to be a massive shift—small, intentional steps can make all the difference.  If your relationship has ended, and you need to make decisions about the future, it can be hard to let go of old habits (especially the way you communicate/argue) and switch them up.

We recently came across this beautiful poem by Portia Nelson, which we think sums up how many of our families move through mediation.

I
I walk down the street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk
I fall in.
I am lost … I am helpless.
It isn’t my fault.
It takes me forever to find a way out.

II
I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I pretend I don’t see it.
I fall in again.
I can’t believe I am in the same place
but, it isn’t my fault.
It still takes a long time to get out.

III
I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I see it is there.
I still fall in … it’s a habit.
my eyes are open
I know where I am.
It is my fault.
I get out immediately.

IV
I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I walk around it.

V
I walk down another street.